Fear of Flight & XSFJ - Leader Retreat (abridged)

On Thursday, after receiving several text messages that only heightened my slight fear of flying, I hopped on a plane to Philly and headed toward my first taste of Bike & Build.  That’s right, this weekend was leader retreat, also known as “cram as much knowledge and getting to know you” into one weekend.  It was an introverts worst nightmare, an extroverts dream, and a great opportunity to prepare for the coming months (both practically and relationally). 

co-leader bowling

Not only did I meet my own co-leaders, but I also met and got to know a bunch of the other route’s leaders.  It was pretty excellent to see the different dynamics of different teams and to see how well they fit/worked together.  I don’t know how the program directors did it, but all the teams really just made sense.

One of the things that I look forward to the most about B&B, and that I think was the most refreshing about this weekend, is that it’s an opportunity to jump out of the cozy Christian Liberal Arts School culture that I sometimes grow all too comfortable in and/or all too tired of.  There was a lot of transparency among these peers of mine at leader retreat and “getting to know you” small talk that normally exhausts me, was actually incredibly intriguing.  Everyone had so many different interests, and I started to wonder how the hell I was chosen to be associated with such cool people.
           

I got kind of stuck inside my head at one point in the weekend when it was brought to my attention that my Christian/Catholic background has the potential to make some people write me off or somewhat uncomfortable.  I thought about it a ton last night as I was going to sleep, and just when I started feeling kind of out of place and started questioning if I should hold back being unapologetically myself, including my faith, I met a leader from another route who happened to be a seminarian.  That’s right. A Catholic Seminarian!  We chatted briefly and suddenly I felt completely reassured (and also stupid for thinking that having different beliefs than someone was something I would have to apologize for or dial back).  (Note: I’m not some Bible beating neurotic person, and I have no intentions of coming across that way. I just was concerned that I might? I don’t know. I second-guess myself a lot).

Just as I expected, there was a lot of quality time spend getting to know my co-leaders, but I was surprised by a few introspective moments too.  I re-took the Meyers Briggs assessment and came out even on E/I (which I will now call an “X” because it sounds cool), and switched from an N to an S.  This probably means nothing to you if you aren’t a Samford student, but for all of those who would like to put me in some personality test box – I am now an XSFJ.

becoming "that girl"

On the plane back, we were on an even smaller plane that scared be even more.  While we were taking off, I just kept thinking about how silly one of my co-leaders must look every time he lands, as he told us that he just kind of sits in a euphoric state after landing because he recognizes what a big freakin’ deal it is to have just flown thousands of feet up in the air for several hours.  Perspective, right?  So I distracted myself with homework (and I became that girl who took a picture of the clouds, because I had to prove that I was in the air), but once I got tired of that I wrote a brief little note to remind myself when I get to orientation, and when we make it to the West Coast about how I felt in this

moment, right now, and what my goals and expectations were.  I also wrote myself a cheat sheet to remind myself of my first impression of my co-leaders.  It’s going to be kind of funny to revisit that after spending so much time with them this summer.  Surely, things will change and these descriptions will be comical.

And now, to bomb a Strategy test, because who can focus on Business School when you’re thinking about spending the summer biking across the country?  #businessschooldropout

Numero Uno: A Series of Affirmations

Let's start this journey together out by being up front about some key facts:
I'm extremely anxious about anything I haven't become an expert in yet.  I'm not an expert when it comes to cycling, affordable housing, or really anything related to this whole experience.  "Why do it then?" you ask?  Well, we'll get to that soon, I promise.  But for now, as promised, a story.

This week I've been feeling especially anxious about the new experiences that come along with this.  This weekend I'll travel to Philadelphia by myself to meet up with all the other leaders on all of the routes, including my three co-leaders on Central US, where they will all find out that I'm a fraud.  I'm nowhere near as cool as I seem via e-mails, text messages, and conference calls.  Additionally, the weather has gotten nicer this week, which only means additional cyclists on the road who actually know what they're doing.  While I've always had a passion for biking, but I've never really been a "cyclist"and I'm nowhere near as educated on basic bike crap as everyone assumes I am.  It's kind of embarrassing.

With all that said, I started this week feeling like a complete phony.  Despite my low confidence, I hopped on my bike today for a 19 mile ride because I'm pretty sure staying inside on a day like today warrants a good deal of purgatory time.  In one of the villages in the Birmingham area, I was stopped at a light and I left a good deal of room between myself and the car in front of me.  After sitting for a minute, the car behind me pulled up next to me and I was sure that I had pissed someone off by doing something wrong.  The older guy in this white SUV rolled down his window and I was prepared for the worst,

"Hi. I'm a Mountain Brook police officer and..."

These are some of the words I fear the most when I'm in Birmingham.  Clearly, I was in some trouble.

"...and I just wanted to thank you for the safety and caution that you're riding with.  We have a lot of cyclists causing trouble by weaving in and out of this traffic, and I just wanted to thank you for keeping things safe."

Boom.  What?  Instant affirmation.  Apparently I was doing something right.  (Not only that, but he implied that I counted as a "cyclist" so that's kind of cool I guess).  Thanks to these affirming words, the rest of the ride was a breeze, despite that fact that Birmingham only has uphill climbs.

Additionally, when I got back in from the ride I received a phone call from a host that I was sure would not be able to accommodate us this year due to scheduling issues.  I braced myself as all the reasons that this host should say no were listed, and then found myself speechless when the voice on the other end of the phone said that they cared so much about this organization that they were going to find some way to host us anyways.  It sounded impossible, but sometimes people just pull through and are surprisingly awesome.

So today= a huge confidence booster.  All of these sweet things are seeming to accumulate to make this summer less and less of a huge, scary monster.

Introductions

Okay, so I didn't actually drop out of business school, but I might as well.  In May, I'll finally graduate from Samford, and to the dismay of advisors across America, I'll put off stepping into whatever the "real world" is for an additional few months.  So what am I doing during those few months?  I'm so glad you asked...

Introductions are always awkward.  When possible, I always try to skip over them and dive right in with embarrassing stories, stupid jokes, or anything to avoid the whole "testing the waters" feeling everyone has at the beginning of new things.  There is absolutely no "testing the waters" about this upcoming experience - I've already cannon-balled into the deep end and have been treading water for a while now.  I haven't really known how to describe this to my friends and family, so I put off writing about it and I gave very vague answers to all the questions that people have asked me in person.  But the time has come for me to start keeping all you wonderful folks in the loop.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, that's okay.  This first post is unlike any other in that I'm about to give you the introduction and explanation to the next few months of my life:

So basically, this May I'll be meeting up with about 30 other young adults in Virginia Beach to set out on a cross country cycling trip to benefit affordable housing groups across the U.S.  We'll pedal 3821 miles across 13 states and work in 10 different cities over a span of about 76 days, but numbers aren't really my thing. Words are.  So I'll be using this space to share stories, lessons, personal thoughts, etc. with friends, family, and intrigued individuals throughout the preparation process and during the actual trip.  Preparation means riding 500 miles, fundraising $4500, and working 10 hours through an affordable housing group.  Additionally, I was chosen as one of the four leaders for this route, so preparation will also include coordinating build days and host locations, soliciting large donations, route planning, and tons of other stuff that I don't even know how to describe.  (I get to meet the other three leaders for the first time in Philadelphia this weekend and I'm uber pumped.  Is that lame? Oh well).

As of this post, I've ridden 152 miles on the bike that I'll be riding from coast to coast, and I've raised $2,975 through a bunch of lovely family members, friends, and strangers. (I plan to work with Birmingham Habitat for a weekend in April).  From this small bit of preparation I've learned two things: 1. people are awesome and have been far more supportive than I've ever dreamed. 2.  Birmingham should be completely restructured because these hills/mountains/walls are ridiculous.  Lessons like these, as well as fun stories and random thoughts will be updated sporadically in the coming coming months.  If I could carry a pocket sized version of each of the wonderful people supporting me, then I would, but I guess that internet story-telling is the next best thing.

Until then, if you'd like to learn more about Bike & Build, or if you're interested in offering some financial support - visit bikeandbuild.org or bikeandbuild.org/rider/7092.